


Traitor

by SDBookFan



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2019-01-16 19:22:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12349086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SDBookFan/pseuds/SDBookFan
Summary: All it took was one mistake.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The song that helped inspired this is "Traitor" by Daughtry. Go check it out.

Patton hadn’t meant to get involved. He’d just been passing by the common area and the sound of a whispered argument had caught his attention. Curious, he’d ducked inside to see Logic and Prince hissing at each other, bent over a pile of notebooks.

“What’s going on over here?” he’d asked. The two of them had exchanged glances, and then explained.

Now looking down at notebook in his hand, on of Anxiety’s journals, feeling uneasy. Patton wished he hadn’t asked.

“I don’t know you guys,” he said, “This doesn’t feel right. We should just put them back.”

Roman huffed. “I did not go through all the trouble of sneaking them out from under Hot Topic’s nose to just put them back,” he sniffed. “Besides, you’re curious too.”

“It’s not as if any of plan to read these journals in depth, or anything,” Logan said. “We’re just scanning them to see if his name’s written down anywhere in them. I can understand your misgivings, but the only other item in his room that might have given us this information is his laptop, which is password protected.”

Patton looked down again. He really did want to learn Anxiety’s name. He’d wanted to know it for a while. Despite their contrasting natures, Patton had grown quite fond of the surly side.

In fact, they had started spending more time together recently. It had started after Patton had made a batch of cookies from a new recipe, and had been looking for someone to taste test with. Logic and Prince had both been busy, so he’d gone and knocked on Anxiety’s door.

For once, instead of staying locked away, the other had opened up his door. They’d then spend the afternoon eating cookies and watching Netflix on Anxiety’s bed. Anxiety had made sarcastic comments the whole time, but Patton hadn’t minded. They were usually pretty funny anyway.

And Anxiety hadn’t minded when he’d made jokes or puns. He never told Patton to be quiet, or that his jokes were bad. In fact he’d even laughed at them! He’d kept covering his mouth, but he still laughed. Although Patton was determined to get him to laugh without hiding it someday.

And that afternoon had started a pattern. More often than not, when Logic was busy reading or grading, and Prince was off on some adventure, Patton had wandered over to spend time with Anxiety.

In that time, he’d learned so much about the other. He’d learned the way Anxiety ducked his head when he was shy. He’d learned the way the other couldn’t quite resist singing along to his favorite songs when they started playing. He’d learned the way Anxiety’s eyes lit up when he started talking about history, which as it turned out was his favorite subject.

And every bit of new information he had learned only made Patton want to know more and more. He wanted to know everything there was to Anxiety, to memorize every inch of him, to build an image he could keep close to his heart.

So he’d kept showing up, knocking hopefully on Anxiety’s door. And Anxiety hadn’t pushed him away, which had given Patton the faintest fluttering feeling of hope that maybe, just maybe, Anxiety felt the same way he did.

One thing he had yet to learn though was Anxiety’s name. That’s why he’d asked in the last video. He’d been so excited when Anxiety had said yes. But then it hadn’t turned out to be real, and he’d been so disappointed.

He stared at the notebook in his lap. Anxiety’s name might be just pages away.

_“Except for you, Patton, you’re cool”_

Anxiety’s earlier words drifted through his head. And that was when Patton knew he couldn’t do it.

“No, guys, this is just wrong. It’s an invasion of his privacy. I’m putting them back,” he said firmly, yanking the journals out of Logic and Prince’s hands, gathering them up in his arms.

“Oh come on!” Prince protested, just as Logan interjected. “Really, Morality, this is quite unnecessary.”

But before Patton could scold either of them, there was a voice from behind.

“Guys? What’s going on?”

Patton turned around slowly, to see Anxiety rubbing his eyes and looking at them in confusion. As he turned, Anxiety’s eyes fell to Patton’s hands.

“Are-are those my journals? Where the hell did you get those?” Anxiety did not sound happy. Patton opened his mouth to explain, but Prince interrupted him before he could.

“We were trying to find out your name,” Prince informed him, “Since you refused to tell us earlier”

“You what!” Anxiety was furious now. Patton desperately wanted to explain that he hadn’t wanted to, that he was going to give the journals back. But Logic spoke up before he could.

“I understand you might be upset, Anxiety,” he said. “But honestly, we wouldn’t have gone to such extremes if you weren’t being so stubborn. We only were looking for your name, not your deepest secrets.”

Anxiety barked out a laugh. “You guys pull shit like this, and think I’ll trust you with my name? Like hell I’m ever telling you now!” Then his eyes fell on Patton, full of anger and hurt. “And you! I can’t believe you went along with this. I thought you were better than that. I can’t believe I ever trusted you.”

Patton felt the words hit him like a bullet to the chest, staggering back a step from the sheer venom in Anxiety’s voice. All his explanations died his throat, as he watched through tear-filled eyes as Anxiety stormed from the room. He’d ruined everything.

“I hope you’re happy,” he eventually managed to say, refusing to look at the other two. “I really hope you’re pleased with yourselves.”

With that he left the room, trying not to sob. He’d go put the notebook in his room. He could try to give them back later. If Anxiety would even let him in. He doubted the other ever would again now. He couldn’t blame him.

* * *

 

Anxiety let the door slam behind him, not caring what the others thought. After a moment of thought, he made sure to lock it behind him as well. Clearly he needed to be more careful when it came to privacy.

Once the door had been locked, he threw himself on to his bed, hands clenching around one of his favorite pillows. He should have known, he should have known it was too good to be true.

He pulled the pillow closer to him. He didn’t care that much about Logic and Prince stealing his journals. Sure he was mad, but he couldn’t be all that surprised. Prince didn’t like him, and Logic was terrible with social and emotional stuff. But Patton?

Anxiety swallowed hard. That hurt, that hurt a lot. He’d trusted Patton, he’d thought that the other was different. He’d thought all the time they’d been spending together had meant something. He’d, well, he’d thought a lot of things. None of them mattered now.

Patton had gone behind his back. Patton had decided his curiosity mattered more than Anxiety’s privacy. Patton had proved that when it came down to it he didn’t what Anxiety felt at all.

 _In fact,_ Anxiety thought, his mood growing even darker, _maybe this had been a trick all along. Maybe the real reason Patton had been spending so much time with me was just to get my name out of me. After all he was the one to push earlier during the video._

Anxiety could feel his anger beginning to rise again. Well, if that’s how things were going to be, fine. He didn’t need Patton anyway. If the other thought he could act all nice, then go right around and stab Anxiety in the back first chance he got, he had best think again.

Anxiety ignored the small pang if his heart that protested the vicious thoughts. The small part of him that had recently begun to whisper hopes about what he and Patton might be together. He had no reason to feel guilty. He wasn’t the villain here. He wasn’t the thief. He wasn’t the traitor. Patton had been the one to fire the first shot. He was just going to make sure this never happened again. And if he had to cut all ties with the others, so be it.

Anxiety pushed himself upright, a dark kind of determination now flowing through him. He’d show Patton that he wasn’t going to take this kind of betrayal lying down. If he was so damn curious about Anxiety, then Anxiety would indulge him, by showing him exactly how nasty he could get.

And as for his name? That would stay under lock and key, forever.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not sorry. Prepare for the angst

The next morning, Anxiety sauntered down the stairs for breakfast. He didn’t normally attend meals with the others. But today, he had plans. He was going to show Patton, no, he was going to show Morality, just how little he needed him.

_Of course, that was easier said than done,_ he thought, as he walked into the kitchen and had to repress the urge to flinch as the others looked up. It was easy to fake confidence when he was alone in his room, but seeing them again, it just brought all the hurt back to the forefront of his mind.

He turned to the coffee pot to try and buy some time to try and get his expression under control. But as he filled his mug, he heard a timid voice speak out.

“Um, hey, Anxiety?”

“What the fuck do you want, Morality?” he said flatly without turning around.

“Oh, um nothing, I guess” Morality stammered. He sounded hurt. Good.

“Anxiety, is such language really necessary?” Logic said.

“I don’t know,” Anxiety nonchalantly, turning to stare at the other head on. “Is being such a nosy piece of shit really necessary?”

“Ugh” Prince rolled his eyes. “Are you still worked up about yesterday? Get over it.”

“Sure,” Anxiety sneered, “Right when you get over yourself and your over-inflated ego, you pathetic pretender of a prince. I mean, didn’t it ever occur to you that the code of chivalry probably frowns on things like thievery or invasion of privacy? I have to say you’re starting to look more like a villain every second.”

“How dare you!” Prince thundered, rising from his chair, only to be stopped as Morality grabbed his arm.

“Hey, there’s no need to get violent,” he said alarmed. “I’m sure we can all work this out.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that” Anxiety said darkly. “And for the record, I don’t need to be defended by a lying little traitor. In fact, you should probably just keep your hands and business to yourself from now on. It would solve a lot of problems.”

“Anxiety,” Logic said sternly, “I understand you’re upset, but-“

“You understand nothing,” Anxiety cut in. “You like to pretend you’re so smart, but in reality you’re just some defunct robot spitting out useless facts. Didn’t you ever wonder why Thomas never listens to you? It’s because your so-called logic barely holds up here, let alone in the real world.”

Anxiety took a minute to take in the reactions to his words. Prince looked like he was a half-second away from drawing his sword. Morality was on the verge of tears. Logan was pale and, for once, silent.

Anxiety laughed, letting all his anger and bitterness fill the sound.

“Look at you bunch of hypocrites,” he said. “A prince who acts like a villain, a teacher who’s beyond ignorant. And you.”

He looked Morality dead in the eye.

“You call yourself Morality, and yet you are the farthest thing from moral I have ever met. After all, at least the other two were upfront about their intentions. You couldn’t even do that. It’s pathetic. And just so you know, if you ever come near me again, I will show you _exactly_ what I think of liars and traitors.”

With that he turned and marched out of the room, coffee cup in hand, and sense of dark triumph filling him. They deserved this. _He_ deserved this.

* * *

 

As Anxiety left the room, Patton let himself slide to the ground and whimper. This was, this was so much worse than anything he had been imagining. He’d known that Anxiety would be mad, but he’d thought that maybe, maybe he could still try to talk to him, to explain. But, but, but…

Patton put his head down and shuddered as the tears started to run down his face. His breath hitched as small sob broke through his lips.

A hand hesitantly touched his shoulder.

“Ah, Patton,” Logan said awkwardly. “I’m sure it will be fine. He’s just over-reacting right now.”

“Over, over-reacting?” Patton said incredulously. “You still don’t get it do you? We messed up! What we did was wrong, and awful, and terrible, and, and he has every right to be mad. Anxiety, he’s, he’s our friend, and he was only just starting to trust us, and we destroyed that!”

“Patton,” Roman said with some alarm, but Patton just continued on.

“An-and you know what,” he said, his voice breaking as his eyes filled with tears. “I don’t think we deserve to be forgiven, because we-we’ve been so awful to him, a-and we should have known better, I-I should have known better, should-should have been better, and I am, I am so, so sorry, _‘m so sorry_ ”

With that, any grasp of coherency was lost, as Patton began to full out sob as the few remaining pieces of his heart broke. There would be no going back from this, he’d lost Anxiety before they’d even had the chance to build something. And it was all his fault.

_You call yourself Morality, and yet you are the farthest thing from moral I have ever met._

Anxiety’s words flashed though his mind, making him flinch. The worst part was that they were right. He’d known that reading those journals had been wrong, and he should have said so for the beginning. But he’d let himself forget that, and for what? Curiosity? Selfishness? If he’d just been good enough to say no right from the start this never would have happened.

And it was his job to do that. To realize that _hey, what we’re doing isn’t okay_. And he’d failed. He deserved every bit of anger Anxiety threw at him.

“Patton, stop crying please,” Logan was now kneeling in front of him, looking increasingly awkward.

“Perhaps we did miscalculate,” he said nervously, glancing at Roman. “But if so then it was truly our mistake, not yours.”

“I didn’t stop you,” Patton muttered.

“But you did!” Roman interjected. “In fact, I distinctly remember you snatching a journal out of my hand with the intention of putting it back.”

“Not soon enough,” Patton sniffled, wiping a hand under his nose.

“Perhaps you may think that,” Logan said, “But the fact remains that you did try, and thus Anxiety’s anger with you is unfounded, and he should be made aware of that.”

“I don’t think he’s going to listen,” Patton said dully, “He hates us now, he hates _me_.”

“Well then we’ll just make him listen!” Roman said determinedly. “After all, I have quite a few things to say to him right now. I am not a villain!”

Having said that, he turned and strode out of the room, a fierce look on his face. Logan gave Patton one last awkward pat on the back, before standing up to follow him.

“We’ll smooth things out, don’t worry,” he said, although his tone sounded less confident than Roman’s, and undercurrent of worry ran through his voice.

Patton watched the two of them leave. Part of him wanted to follow, to try and make things right. But the other part of him had a sinking feeling that this was only going to make things worse.

**Author's Note:**

> Check out my tumblr at ec-sanderssides


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